A moment at the bottom of a pool looking up,

The warped sky rippled

In breath of threshold wind, artfully sketched

Muted sound of laughter above,

Quiet light over arm outstretched,

I gazed upon it playing.

---

There in the calm

I waited and waited,

Chest pondering the soothing caress of depth.

I remained lying under

Anticipating the post-immersion,

Sub-surface second breath.

My lungs stung…10 seconds…

…another…

Is it certainly true I could not live long here in this water?

What voice told me this first?

Could I faithfully wander?

Oh, it brings such assurance, such true peace…am I mistaken?

That I may surrender here in the cool,

Sink further, and enlightened be taken?

---

A pause, and a moment passed,

I let myself sink further in,

And softly…

Something not from within…

…an unsettling stir came there upon my haggard heart,

And awakened from cold deception,

In conflict, I arose to fill fresh lungs

With ungrateful life, I had forsaken.

And basking in the sun cruel again…

I agonized…moments passed with each new breath.

Now above, realized my wonder below near death…

Was hosted in the shameful solace of distortion.

---

Now I only await, may my heart be opened.

Is this life but a warm glow?

A life-preserving show?

Or is it something greater, indeed?

Is there anything more noble:

To become lost, to be shown.

poem copyright 2016 Jay Erwin